Category Archives: News

Speed Racer – Whaaaaaat?

To be honest, it’s all gone a bit wrong for the Wachowski Brothers’ adaptation of the 60s animation. I’ve been doing the reading catching the buzz, and managed to watch the vast majority of the film, albeit in little bits. Now it’s time for a post-mortem. Continue reading


Edinburgh Film Festival: Day-by-day guide… PART ONE

Film festivals, like any kind of festival, tend to have lots of things going on in a not-very-long period of time. This can lead to confusion and anger when scanning the programme and finding that the thing you wanted to see is on at the same time as the other thing and that the third thing has already been on and you missed it and AAAGH!

As such, a plan is required. Best way to break it down is to go through, from the 18th to the 28th, and pick one thing each day to go and see, with the pros and cons honestly weighed up for your perusal. Because let’s face it, unless you’re a journalist, an aristocrat, or the kind of person who REALLY plans ahead, you won’t have the time, money, or sheer determination to fire into all the films at the festival. So here we go, the Moviebarn guide to the Edinburgh Film Festival… Continue reading

Movie News: Stalking, heaven, and Wall-E-Watch – Week 2

“Oi, put that cloud over there or I’ll lay some Jackson on you…”

Here’s another run-down of movie related news, complete with the Moviebarn’s trademark sar-ma-casm. Check it out… Continue reading

Movie News: Cannes, Sex and the City, and Waaaaaall-Eeee…

A news compendium starring Benicio del Toro, Zack Snyder, Russell Brand, a woman with a horse’s face and a confused robot… Continue reading

Send in the Cows…

So it’s one week until The Moviebarn hits the airwaves. I make-d a poster and everything…

Tell your friends. Make them listen. Fridays, 2:30-4:00,

If a cow dressed as Willy Wonka doesn’t capture the imagination, I don’t know what will.


The Moviebarn Farm-a-riffic April Preview…

Persepolis, one of the good ones this month; copyright Optimum Releasing

Well March was a bit of a damp squib. A wetty even. A series of not-great films coupled with some not-great weather. I liked the Creme Eggs though. Hopefully April will be better, here’s what’s a-coming;

April 4thSon of Rambow; has provisional role as ‘Peter’s favourite film of April’ already courtesy of a screening last week. Touching but funny tale of children making low-budget action film. Features flying dog.

I’m a Cyborg; asylum-based mentalism from the Korean director behind the ‘Vengance’ trilogy. About a woman who thinks she’s a robot, and a man who thinks he can harvest souls. Feat. a man called ‘Rain’. No bullshit, that’s the actual name I have in front of me.

April 11th21; card-counting-ahoy in the film adap. of ‘Bringing down the House’. About a group of university students “up against the Vegas elite”. Could be OK. Could be so smug it’ll hurt to watch it. We’ll see.

Leatherheads; American Football-based comu-drama starring George Clooney. UK press material makes hardly any mention of the Yankeeball element. I wonder why?

REC; (en Espanol) “What’s that in the corner of this burnt-out building?” “OHMYGAWD! AAAARGH! AAAAGH! AAARGH! AARGH! AAAGH! AAARGH!”

Shine a Light; The Rolling Stones, playing some musics. Scorcese is directing. Sadly, there will be no Raging Bulls. Not even a little one.

April 18thFool’s Gold; WARNING, THIS IS NOT A JOKE, THIS IS THE ACTUAL PLOT OF THE FILM: Matthew McConaghey and Kate Hudson play a married couple, both of whom are treasure hunters. Their marriage is on the rocks, but they are brought back from the brink of divorce, by the discovery of sunken Spanish gold.

In Bruges; Colin Farrell and Ralph Fiennes in Belgium-based TV/Film project that isn’t Poirot. Far from it. This has midgets. And swearing. And guns.

Street Kings; Double-cross, double-double-cross, bent (not in that way) cops, and more excellent Hugh Laurie accents. Looks like a good’un, and has pedigree (directed by the writer of ‘Training Day’).

25th AprilPersepolis; Reviewed this for the coming issue of The Skinny, so will post review when it hits the street. It’s a French-Iranian black-and-white animation. Stylish, funny, and enthralling. If you can find it, go and see it. When it’s on, obviously.

So that’s April. Out of that lot I’d recommend Son of Rambow and Persepolis, both terrific. And I’m curious about Street Kings. So there you go, 3 good films for the next 5 weeks. Roll on May…

The 5 Worst Number Ones Ever…

To honour the UK release of HIT US COMEDY/Critical clusterfudge Meet the Spartans, I’ve compiled a chart of the worst films to hit the top of the US Box Office in the last 20 years. Yes America, while the British may take your Jason Bournes and Rex the Dinosaurs we’ll still openly mock your somewhat ‘interesting’ choice in movies from time to time.

5 – Big Daddy (27 June – 3 July 1999)
I can’t stand this film. Maybe it’s the annoying kid from Friends. Maybe it’s Adam Sandler. Maybe it’s the whole “you can’t take my kid away, Oi’m ADAM SAANDLER!” thing, but whatever it is, this film annoys the hell out of me.

4 – Pokemon: The First Movie (14-20 November 1999)
Oh great, pokemon. In a film. Just perfect. Low-rent animation, annoying “yeah, let’s go!” chirpiness and odd slave-tastic subtext aren’t the best way to endear yourself to this reviewer.

3 – Jackass:Number Two (24 – 30 September 2006)
A film so stupid that the title is a reference to shit. Yeah, look, it’s right there. A “number two”. You try warning people and yet they still flood in.

2 – The Cat in the Hat (23 November – 6 December 2003)
Dr Seuss – quirky, quitty, quintesentially American. Can’t go wrong with that. Oh, wait, you want to make it a live-action version starring Mike Myers dressed like a member of a Death Row production of ‘Cats’? And you want Dakota Fanning to be in it? And you want the whole thing to appear in a horrible day-glo wash that gives your retinas diabetes? OK, I’m out.

1 – Norbit (11-17 February 2007)
A film so bad it arguably cost Eddie Murphy an Oscar for Dreamgirls. A film so bad that Eddie’s consolation prize(s) were 3 Razzies. All for acting. All for him. And yet, NUMBER ONE!

Check out wikipedia’s full list of Number Ones from ’88 – ’08, and if you’ve got any better suggestions, let’s hear them.

Norbit though. Come on.

 Oh, Meet the Spartans is out on Friday. Don’t go and see it. Please.